Short Final...

The pilot of Cessna N12345 had read back his IFR clearance four times
without getting it correct.  It finally seemed he had it but, alas, he
asked:
N12345: "Ah, Clearance, what was that squawk code again?"
Clearance: "Cessna 345, squawk 3423."
N12345: "Clearance, we need a squawk code that ends in zero."
Clearance (instantaneously): "How about 1200?"

A flight instructor was giving a final review to a student pilot going
for his Private Pilot check ride the next day.  The instructor was
asking about various documents (A-R-R-O-W) that must be aboard the
airplane.

Instructor: "What has to be displayed in the airplane, facing front,
that passengers can see?"
Student: "The propeller...?"

Heard last summer on an Oklahoma City (OKC) Approach Control frequency:
Bellanca pilot: "Approach, I need to land and close my door."
OKC Approach: "Are you having any control problems?"
Bellanca pilot: "No more than usual."

XYZ123: "Good morning ground; Airline 123 request start-up and push-
back, please."
Tower: "Airline 123, expect start up in two hours."
XYZ123: "Please confirm: Two hours' delay?"
Tower: "Affirmative."
XYZ123: "In that case, cancel the good morning!"

More from our "Old allegiances" file...

Recently, a pilot listening on a frequency near Dallas/Fort Worth
overheard this exchange between air traffic control and an American
Airlines aircraft:

ATC: American 1234, descend and maintain 5,000, heading 280.
... Silence
ATC: American 1234, Regional Approach?
... Silence
ATC: Okay, American 1234, will you answer to TWA?